Here Comes the Bride
by Kathy Brown on December 1st, 2009 | 0 comments
Perhaps you have watched these reality series: “Jon and Kate Plus Eight”, “Little People Big World” and “Eighteen and Counting”? What is the thing they have in common? They each claim to operate from the Biblical worldview, or at least they started out that way! Jon was often seen wearing a tee shirt with a Bible verse displayed on it, and Kate explained that their pro-life position came from faith. Matt and Amy Roloff sent their children to a Christian school, and Amy (primarily) shared her Christian beliefs. Right up front, the Duggars revealed that they were sort of counter-culture because they are followers of Christ. As the cameras have followed these three families, we are allowed to see how imperfect we humans are. The startling thing we observe in these shows, though, is how personal relationships reveal what we really believe.
Marriages, even among those who claim to be Christians, fail half the time. If we have tuned into Jon and Kate, it doesn’t take long to sense that how we interact with others matters. Treating one another with a love that “keeps no record of wrongs” and is not “self-seeking” (1 Corinthians 13) is a habit--or not. It is an unusual person that “naturally” veers from the inclination to blame and justify. Asking for forgiveness, if we are real, often means swallowing that big, huge wad of pride that sticks in our throat. Being right usually trumps everything. Politeness, kindness, keeping a rein on the tongue (as James puts it) requires intentional practice. The Gosslin parents didn’t often demonstrate this when film rolled. It is, indeed, easier to wear a slogan than die to oneself.
The marriage of the Roloffs seems to be unraveling, too. The heartbreaking drifting apart of these partners seems to revolve around the fact that mothering has absorbed mom and work has overtaken dad. Each seems to have devised their own convenient distraction from focusing on one another. Relating to an adult, being called to knock off the edges of “self” as Christ asks Believers to do with someone close-up, requires hurting at times. The latest episode of the Roloff saga leaves Amy remarking that she wonders if they can be “happy.” It is an interesting choice of words. Christians are taught that marriage is a much deeper, profound thing than the flimsy relic of the world. Marriage is, rather, a reflection of the faithfulness, intimacy and co-Life of Christ and His Church. It is a costly, eternal relationship; there is no turning back. This union interwoven with suffering is dependent on the Spirit’s pouring forth blessing and joy. Learning to trust, submitting to another in the proper way, choosing to love (husband to wife) and respect (wife to husband) does not come instinctively (Ephesians 5). It is life-long, earthly endeavor involving choices. Undertaking this alone would be almost intolerable. But, this is not how it works for those who obey Christ. He is in it. He is There. He provides the adornment as well as the glue in the whole matter.
What is unique about the peek into “Eighteen and Counting”? Besides the lively home that seems to thrive, there is a peculiar activity that stands out. It is the observance of a discipline. Not, probably, an exercise that is always embraced, but most likely endured for the greater good it produces. It is the study of God’s Word daily. It is led by the father, in this case. Staying inside the pages of Scripture brings everyone back to what is True: the family is an institution designed by God to be the primary unit where community is learned and love is demonstrated. It is where the mission field begins. The default button, making ourselves autonomous, is tripped each and every day through the living, active Word. Better than setting an alarm system, stashing a gun in the safe or getting a guard dog, this Dad has put protection around his own by building up a Truth wall. His strong defense is the Word of God he packs into his own spirit and throughout the territory that is his. Not only is it a safeguard for his marriage and children, it provides the power that will personally transform his wobbly will, that may easily fall to temptation, into a resolute one directed toward what pleases God.
Anyone who has been to a wedding, or has said the “I do” at the altar realizes that seldom does anyone start out on a course to end up divorced; but things can go bad or boring or benign. This is not the Plan. The unfolding of lives on television can hold important lessons for all of us. It reminds us of how decisions we make have consequences . We rarely find ourselves in trouble all at once, but have inched along a route that leads up or down. There is always redemption and opportunity to come back, which is very good news. We, who belong to Jesus, are the Bride of Christ. The Groom always waits for us down the aisle. He treasures the beauty of engagement and glories in each step we make closer to Him. He observes carefully the steps we take and delights in our growing grace, knowing it doesn’t come cheap, as He has demonstrated so well.
From God's Word:
"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery--but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5: 31 - 33
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